Gay lingo side


After a solid five-year hasten in a somewhat monogam-ish relationship, I find myself emerging on the other side as a year-old single guy, clueless about how to jump back into the dating game. Initially, I avoided dating apps, drowning my sorrows in Long Island iced teas, surviving emotional meltdowns at wild house parties, and well, tending to my own business solo. But with time, my heart healed, and I decided to dip my toes (and thumbs) into the online dating world.

Though I haven&#;t had any dates yet, I&#;ve explored these apps, and estimate what? Not much has changed since my last dating venture. There&#;s still an abundance of headless torsos and greetings that march in like they own the place. Once you log in, you&#;ll scroll, swipe, or heart your way through an endless parade of twinks, twunks, bears, daddies, and more! However, when it comes to selecting your preferred positions for sex – something gay men take very seriously – the choices have always been the traditional &#;top,&#; &#;bottom,&#; or &#;verse.&#;

Then, verb a beacon of curiosity, the term &#;side&#; kept

Rise of the sides: how Grindr finally recognized gay men who aren’t tops or bottoms

Every month, nearly 11 million gay men around the world depart on the Grindr app to look for sex with other men. Once there, they can scroll through an endless stream of guys, from handsome to homely, bear to twink. Yet when it comes to choosing positions for sex – a crucial criterion for most gay men – the possibilities have long been simply top and bottom. The only other choice available toggles between those roles: verse (for versatile).

“Not fitting those roles has made it really tough to find someone,” said Jeremiah Hein, 38, of Long Beach, California. “There’s no category to opt from.”

“Whenever I’d look at those choices I’d verb, ‘I’m none of those things,’” said Shai Davidi, 51, of Tel Aviv, Israel. “I felt there must be something mistaken with me.”

Last month, however, that finally changed. In mid-May, Grindr added a position called side, a designation that upends the binary that has historically dominated gay male culture. Sides are men who find fulfillment in every kind of sexual execute ex

I&#;m gay and I&#;m not a top or a bottom &#; I&#;m a &#;side&#;

As a gay man, prying strangers and potential hook-ups alike possess asked me one verb more times than I’ve had hot dinners.

‘Top or bottom?’

Words get me out of bed in the morning, and when uttered by the right people at the right noun, they’ve also been known to get me into bed. 

But neither of these – top or bottom – accurately describe what I opt for to get up to in the boudoir, so my response has always been a guarded mix of shrug and mumble.

Here’s the tea: I’m actually a ‘side’, a term coined by American psychotherapist and sexologist Joe Kort to describe those, love me, for whom penetrative sex – in either position – does very little. 

Getting the peach involved is, quite literally, a pain in the ass, but as for the aubergine, let’s just say that hands and mouths always comprehend the assignment way better. 

To continue the food metaphor: if man-on-man action were a dinner party, I’d have zero interest in sitting down to a bland meal when the amuse-bouches are so good. 

I confess tha

If you’ve been on dating or hook-up apps fond Grindr or Scruff for more than a minute, then you might hold come across some cryptic language, coded and abbreviated to make the most of communicating sexual preferences. Because we all passion efficiency when it comes to flirting and sex, right?

But to understand some of these gay hieroglyphics, you may need a little help deciphering them. So, we’ve put together a list of some frequently used phrases, acronyms, and other words you might encounter on the apps.

What are you into?

Asking what a person is into, or ‘into?’ is often the first thing sent between people when negotiating sex on a hookup app. This could include any sexual positions or sexual acts you prefer and other kinks that might interest you. When people ask this question, they might give their own “intos”, including some of the language below!

Sex positions

Assume the position! Ahem, we mean, what’s your sexual position? Some people can find language like this limiting, as there is usually a great deal more to sex and hooking up than deciding who is going to be giving